I'm A Psychotherapist: If You Want A Healthy Relationship, Make Sure You Do This

Every relationship is different, but experts have identified a few common patterns of healthy, thriving partnerships. Think: balanced conflict resolution, a little novelty, a sense of stability, and plenty of other green flags. And on this episode of the mindbodygreen podcast, licensed psychotherapist and trauma specialist Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, added one more to the list.

Some people misinterpret the stages of dating, Frank says. They assume that once they find their mate, their life will begin. According to Frank, this could not be more false; in fact, she argues that's precisely the opposite of what you should do for a healthy relationship.

"A nonnegotiable for everybody should be to build your life and make sure your life is working before you attach yourself to another human," she explains. This means solidifying different aspects of your life before looking for a mate and definitely before settling into a serious relationship. 

"It takes a village to sustain a relationship," she continues. "If you don't have your own infrastructure of your own friends, your own hobbies, your own wellness practices, and your own mental hygiene in place before you enter a relationship, the likelihood that relationship will be functional or sustainable is pretty low." Translation: You don't want to be attached at the hip. Couples who over-rely on each other run the risk of becoming codependent, which can put a strain on the relationship.