The Key To Healing Your Relationships Lies In This One Question

The thing is, others often treat us the way we treat ourselves—especially in close relationships. So if your current relationship is problematic, instead of focusing on your partner, go inside and see if your partner is mirroring how you treat yourself. Be honest with yourself. If you don’t like how your partner is treating you, take a look at how you are treating yourself. While you are not in control of your partner and you don’t cause him or her to be unloving, how you treat yourself might be having a very large influence on how your partner treats you.

The good news is that it’s much easier to change yourself than to change someone else! In fact, it’s impossible to change someone else, and all the energy people exert to get others to change is a big waste of energy.

We all have free will, so at any moment you can choose to abandon yourself or to take loving care of yourself. You can choose to judge yourself or numb your feelings with addictions, or make someone else responsible for your feelings, or you can choose to open to learning about what is true regarding who you really are and what is in your highest good at the moment.

We all have the ability to ask ourselves each moment, "What is true right now, and what is most loving to myself right now—what is in my highest good?" By asking this question, you take the focus away from self-abandonment and move it toward self-love. The more you behave in ways that support self-value, the more you will see this reflected in how others treat you.

Can you see how loving yourself can heal your relationship or lead to a wonderful new relationship? Can you see that, in fact, learning to love yourself is the only way to improve your relationship or to attract the kind of relationship you want? I thought so.