Your Guide To Sex & Intimacy After Giving Birth, From Sexual Health Experts

So, we asked experts for their best sex advice in the weeks following delivery.

Always double-check with your doctor when it comes to individual needs and timelines, though. And as certified sex therapist De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson, LCSW, CST, adds, you also want to listen to your body. "It really depends on the individual, and you may need more than six weeks, and that's perfectly OK," she says.

You might be wondering if having sex after giving birth is painful. It can be, according to Trubow, which is why it's important to give yourself time to heal, as well as to be mindful when you do have sex. "The vagina may be tender if a woman had any tearing, so it's important to not rush," she says, adding that it may be important not to jump right into vaginal intercourse without engaging in some other sexual play first.

Take the time you need to turn yourself on, and get creative with your partners building up sexual desire.

Trubow recommends prioritizing sexual activities other than intercourse, aka what some people refer to as "foreplay." She adds that it can take up to 30 minutes for a woman's vagina to lengthen fully through arousal and stimulation, so if vaginal intercourse is something you want to engage in, it's important to start with some other fun sexual play first. "And that makes intercourse more pleasurable and less uncomfortable," she explains.

Yes, you can get pregnant postpartum, Trubow says. Nursing does often inhibit ovulation, though not always, she says. You also ovulate before you have your first period post-delivery. "So, if you have unprotected intercourse and think you're fine since you haven't had a period yet, you could get pregnant if you're ovulating, and you wouldn't know it for a while," she explains. So she says it's important to use protection to prevent an immediate pregnancy, in case a woman is quick to ovulate after delivery.

While libido may be lower following delivery and during nursing, women may experience higher libido when they start to ovulate again, according to Trubow. You may notice a boost to your libido during ovulation, so that may be a good time to prioritize sex.

She adds that fluctuating hormones can affect not only your libido but how well you naturally lubricate, and more. If you didn't have any challenges with that before childbirth, you may have some challenges now, and that's OK, she adds.

According to Trubow, if a woman is nursing, "it's often helpful to nurse and then empty the breasts by pumping, to avoid having a milk letdown with nipple stimulation."

Trubow also advises taking your time when it comes to postpartum sex, both in terms of how long you wait after delivery but also taking your time during the sex itself. If you want to wait longer than six weeks to have sex, that's totally OK, she notes. And during intercourse, "if there is vaginal penetration, go slowly at the beginning," she adds.

Not only is clitoral stimulation more likely to make a woman reach orgasm, but it'll also help the vagina to lengthen so penetration is more comfortable. Again, it can take up to 30 minutes of arousal and stimulation for the vagina to lengthen fully.

After the healing period, Trubow says most positions should be fine. That said, she notes, "sometimes after a cesarean section, positions that minimize the depth of penetration are more comfortable," so you may want to avoid legs over the partner's shoulders or doggy style.

According to Blaylock-Johnson, it's not a bad idea to work your pelvic floor muscles post-delivery, and even consider working with a pelvic floor physical therapist if needed. "Kegels are great, but I think taking it a step further and working with a pelvic floor physical therapist can be beneficial," she says, so you ensure you're working and rehabilitating those muscles properly.

Because vaginal dryness isn't uncommon following delivery, both Blaylock-Johnson and Trubow recommend using lubricant when you need it. "It's perfectly OK to find a lube that works well with your body," Blaylock-Johnson tells mbg. She adds that if you're not using barrier methods with your partner, coconut oil as lube works well. If you are using protection, however, "then look at a good water-based or silicone-based lube," she says. (Here are our fave natural lubes.)

Last but certainly not least, a new baby brings many changes, including to your sex life, so take some time to figure out what works for you now. And as Blaylock-Johnson notes, you don't have to limit your sexual experiences solely to intercourse, either. "There are so many other ways you can experience pleasure outside of penis-and-vagina intercourse," she adds.

In short, she recommends maximizing your time together, especially away from screens. "If you can just prioritize that time to be partners outside of parents," she says, "that will help keep the spark alive."

Understanding what's happening with your body, taking it slow, and experimenting with what works will all help as you and your partner get back into the groove while navigating having a new child.