What Is Romantic Attraction? 6 Signs You're Experiencing It

Ahead, we're diving into how to recognize romantic attraction and distinguish it from all the different kinds of attraction.

Not all relationships need romantic attraction. However, in healthy relationships where romantic attraction is present, it serves as a force that pushes partners to continuously be intrigued and interested in each other with compassion, acting as the glue to keep the relationship connected even as partners and the environment inevitably change, says McCrorie.

(Here's more on the difference between love and lust, if you want more details on how to parse the two out.)

There are many different types of attraction, even aside from romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Here are some of the major ones:

"People may experience romantic attraction differently. However, many people realize that they are experiencing romantic attraction toward someone when they find themselves infatuated with another person," says McCrorie. You find yourself repeatedly thinking about the person and find ways to bring them up in conversation.

People reporting romantic attraction will often express a strong desire to experience deep emotions with the other person, says Zrenchik, or otherwise have some sort of emotional connection.

When you think of the person, you are struck by how their happiness feels tied to your happiness—and you would do anything to make sure that they're protected from any misfortune that might come their way. You feel upset knowing that it's impossible to protect them from everything and anything.  

When you picture your life, you see the other person at your side. You want to wake up next to them, celebrate holidays with them, and possibly build a home together. When you think of yourself, the other person is also a part of that.

If you're a person who wants to have children, then you might imagine having children with them. You think about the different good qualities your partner has and how they might manifest in a child that shared both your genes or who was raised by both of you. You feel soft and soppy at the thought of the other person holding your child and building a bond.

No matter whether you're experiencing a positive or negative emotion, your first thought is to share it with this person. You deeply value their point of view, and you know that you will find comfort and solace in sharing with them in times of sadness and more joy in times of happiness.

It can sometimes be hard to know if you're feeling romantically or platonically toward someone because feelings of friend love can be just as intense and compelling as romantic love. It's probably best not to worry about putting a definite label on the feelings you have for someone and instead focus on how the relationship makes you feel. Are you both happy and having your needs met?

People can experience romantic attraction in many ways. Some common romantic orientations might include:

(Here's our big list of sexualities that also defines many of these and other related terms.)

Romantic attraction can manifest in different ways for different people, and there's a whole spectrum of perfectly normal ways to feel attraction (or lack thereof) for others. Figuring out what kind of attraction you're feeling toward someone can help you to understand your own emotions better and understand how to approach the various types of relationships in your life.