What Does It Mean To Be Polysexual? 4 Common Signs & Other FAQs

Finding words to describe your sexuality can be incredibly freeing and reassuring. Have you wondered if you might be polysexual? Or are you trying to understand what it means for a friend or loved one when they say that they're polysexual?

The term polysexual comes from the Greek root poly, which means "many or much." A person who is polysexual is attracted to people of many genders, although not necessarily people of all genders.

For example, a polysexual person might be interested in men, agender people, and nonbinary people, but not women.

Polysexuality is closely related to bisexuality and pansexuality, though all three are distinct identities. Bisexuality is typically described as attraction to one's own gender and at least one other gender, and pansexuality is described as attraction to people regardless of their gender.

It is also worth noting that the way people use bisexual, pansexual, and polysexual can have some overlap. Two people may think very similarly about their sexualities, and yet one may call themselves bi and the other pan. It is largely about which label speaks best to an individual person and which label they feel most comfortable with.

"It's important to remember that behavior and desire do not make someone a particular identity. People have to choose and identify with a label as well for it to be valid for them," says couples and sex therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., ACD, LMFT, of the All In Therapy Clinic. 

A common misconception about polysexual people is that they are polyamorous, but these are actually two different and unrelated terms. Polyamory describes an approach to relationships, while polysexual describes which genders a person is sexually attracted to.

If you're someone who identifies as polysexual, then it's a good idea to explain what that means to you to prospective partners. Everyone's relationship to their sexuality is unique, so it's smart to be clear about how it is for you. Be upfront about your sexuality on dating apps; that way, you can weed out people who aren't aligned straight away.

As a person dating someone who is polysexual, you should be open and sensitive when discussing their sexuality. Avoid making negative assumptions. For instance, the stereotype about all non-monosexual people is that they're hypersexual, promiscuous, or more likely to cheat. In reality, a polysexual person is no more likely to cheat on you than anyone else.

The biggest thing to do to support a polysexual loved one is simply to not make assumptions. Ask genuine questions about what someone needs from you if they come out to you.

"Curiosity wrapped in compassion is often a means of showing support," says Lori Lawrenz, PsyD, of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health.

However we name our sexualities, we all need to be met with respect and understanding. If you're a polysexual person, seek out people who will see you in your entirety and love you for it. And if you're dating or close to a polysexual person—be that loving person!

Labeling our sexualities can be incredibly helpful in identifying other people to start building community based on common life experiences, although some people also feel discomfort with publicly claiming a label. If you think that polysexuality might describe you, then you can always test out how it feels to start using the label.