People With This Personality Type Are The Best At Keeping Secrets

If you've found yourself ruminating on a secret that's causing you distress, one of the most effective ways to reduce its hold on you is to confide in another person. After all, a trusty confidant can create a helpful space for you to share what's been taking up a lot of your mental energy; oftentimes, it can also help to hear advice from a novel, outside perspective. 

Slepian shares that the first trait to look for is compassion: "As you could imagine, these are people who are caring, nonjudgmental, and empathic," he says. "These people have a lot to offer when it comes to confiding a secret." It makes sense—a compassionate confidant is able to fully listen to your struggles with an intent to understand, without inserting themselves into the issue at hand. 

Here's where Slepian surprises us: The second trait he says to look for is assertiveness. "People like to confide in people they see as assertive," he notes. "This is someone who's going to push you to do the thing that you need to do." In addition to sharing an outside perspective, these people can help motivate you to take action toward what needs to be done, which is especially helpful if your secret is weighing on your conscience.

Now, the last trait of a good secret-keeper is a bit more subjective: "You want to choose someone who will have a similar set of morals as you do. You don't want to provoke a strong moral reaction in your confidant," says Slepian. See, if someone is absolutely scandalized by what you're telling them, they are more likely to blab. "If what you're telling them is something they find to be morally reprehensible, they're more likely to tell a third party about that secret as a way of punishing what they see as immoral behavior," says Slepian. If you truly wish to keep your secrets under the radar, make sure the person you tell has no moral stake in the matter.