How To Stop Obsessing About Body Weight & Eating, For Good: An RD Explains

As a certified eating disorder registered dietitian, I hear so many heartbreaking stories at my treatment center—women and men who’ve lost decades of their lives while at war with themselves and their bodies. Being “on a diet” is their norm, and they’re convinced the next one will finally bring them contentedness.

Living your life obsessed with weight and food is exhausting. It’s isolating. It’s painful. Think about how much more joy and in-the-moment experience we'd have in life were we not putting so much energy into planning meals, restricting, bingeing, beating ourselves up, and exercising from a place of anxiety.

Self-compassion isn’t about believing you’re perfect or loving every inch of your body. It’s about treating yourself as the imperfect human being that you are. It’s about acknowledging that mistakes, flaws, and sometimes having a second (or third) serving of ice cream are inevitable parts of being human.

When we feel lost and uncertain about why we’re on this earth, we fall back upon what Disney, fairy tales and rom-coms have taught us: that we’re supposed to be thin, beautiful, desirable, and in a relationship. We look to our bodies to find purpose and self-confidence, and try to attain the unrealistic ideal the media puts forth.

Disconnection, along with genetics and the role of genetics and biochemistry, is at the root of addiction and depression. It’s a human need to belong, and so we often mistakenly believe if we’re thinner or more attractive we’re more likely to be accepted. Many of us grow up criticized by our parents or bullied by our peers, so it’s natural to desire this connection.

This can be the toughest one to accept, as your “happy, sustainable weight” is likely different from your friends’, and is almost certainly different from images on Instagram. Where does your body land when you’re practicing a sustainable lifestyle—a lifestyle that feels flexible and manageable, not anxiety-ridden and punishing?

How does your body look when you’re exercising for health, endorphins, and fun—not because fear tells you you’ll gain weight if you don’t? Or when you’re eating because you’re hungry and stopping because you’re full, not because you’re trying to stay within your macros or watching the clock? Or when you choose the salad one day because you’re craving salad, and the mac and cheese another day because you’re craving mac and cheese? This is your sustainable weight.

When you can change your expectations for how you believe your body should be, you’ll no longer live with constant anxiety and shame (and hunger). Coming to this place of acceptance around your body’s happy, sustainable weight doesn’t come easily, and it has to be actively practiced—but trust me, it’s so worth it.