How To Put An End To Kids' Restless Nights, From A Certified Pediatric Sleep Expert

As sleep-loving adults, it's hard to get our heads around why in the world kids resist sleep, fight off heavy eyelids, and push bedtime back. After all, a great night's sleep makes us feel great—it's one of the foundations of a healthy, happy, productive life.

Say it with us now: Sleep begets sleep.

"For example," Zentz explains, "a 9-month-old should be awake for about three hours between sleep. A newborn should only be awake about 45 to 60 minutes. And most parents don't know that, so they're asking themselves whether they should be sleeping all day. And the answer is, well, yeah, pretty much!" When kids are not getting enough sleep during the day, that triggers trouble settling at bedtime because they're wired, completely exhausted, and overtired.

If you've got nap times sorted or your kids are growing out of day sleeps and they're still resisting bedtime, turn your focus to habits. Consistently nursing, rocking, bouncing, or driving your child to sleep will teach them to resist sleep until that happens—not very practical on a nightly basis, especially if they're waking up at 2 in the morning!

"Sleep is a skillset fundamentally. If we teach children the skill of sleeping and empower them with the right timing to set themselves up for success, they're going to fall asleep easier. And frankly, it's much easier for them, too. They don't want to rely on the props that they've come to know, but that's how they know to fall asleep."

Infants need a hard, safe space to sleep above all else. But when kids get a little older and it's time for a mattress, Zentz has noticed in her practice that parents simply aren't cognizant of the need for a child to have a high-quality mattress.

As adults, we research, test drive in-store, study, read reviews, and spend money to get a quality mattress that is comfortable and supportive. Kids, on the other hand, are more likely to get a hand-me-down or the most convenient and cost-effective option available. It's time to think about the importance of support, comfort, and quality for your kids too.

Zentz shares, "I spend money on pillows for my kids, their comforters, their mattress because I want them to be in a place of rest. You sleep where you're comfortable, so I think it's important to treat the bedroom for your children like a sleep sanctuary." 

Blackout blinds are another one of Zentz's secret weapons for sleep success. "Most kids (and adults) sleep well in darkness. That's how the body clock works—our circadian rhythm is based on light and dark. The lightest stage of sleep is between four and six in the morning, so you've got to make sure the environment is conducive to a kid not wanting to get up at 5 a.m. because they can see the sun coming up or hear the birds chirping."

The first step is to put down the phones. We get it; that's easier said than done. But, as Zentz shares, "Blue light stimulates the brain; that's just what it does. It specifically triggers certain parts of the brain that tell it to keep going, which is why even adults look at their phone in the middle of the night, and then they can't fall back to sleep because their brain thinks it's ready to get up." To combat this, Zentz recommends instituting a docking station for phones and having all family members (parents included) put the devices down and decompress about an hour before bedtime.

Part of the reason we grown-ups cherish sleep is that we just feel better when we've had a good night's rest. If we can teach kids that sleep helps them do the things they love, they'll grow up understanding the importance of sleep hygiene and good bedtime habits.

"A huge trigger for a lot of school-age kids is after-school activities." Zentz shares, continuing, "If they really want to be good at soccer, be the best athlete, be good at karate or gymnastics or music, sleep is going to help them perform at their best." Teach your kids that their heroes sleep and eat well, and that's how they find the energy to do the things they love and reach peak performance.