15 Ways To Last Longer In Bed, Naturally Or With A Little Help

The truth is, there's no easy answer when it comes to how long sex should last. But if you're keen to try to extend your stamina, here are a bunch of ways to last longer in bed. 

There are many edging techniques, but here are a few options for folks with penises to try with or without a partner:

Condoms do more than protect from STIs and pregnancy. They can also be a handy way of slightly reducing sensation so as to enable you to last longer. Stay away from ultrathin varieties, which may allow for more sensation. Here are 9 of the best vegan condoms to buy instead.

If you know you're going to have sex that evening, then masturbate during the day so that you're further away from the edge of arousal and will have greater stamina.

"This is a simple technique of placing the first two fingers of either hand on the underside of the penis, placing the thumb on top and squeezing. This obviously has to be done with the penis being withdrawn during penetration," says Renee Adolphe, a relationship and sexuality coach. "Another good technique in which the penis does not need to be completely withdrawn is squeezing at the base of the penis. Both effectively control arousal as well as strengthen erections."

"The testicles have to pull up close to the body in order for the semen to come up through the testes, but pulling them away from your body will delay ejaculation," Adolphe recommends. "Circle the top of the sac with the thumb and forefinger then pull down firmly."

Adolphe recommends using the power of your breath to help slow things down. As you feel your excitement rise, try taking a "deep belly breath and hold until the urge to ejaculate subsides." Breathe slowly and carefully through your nose, and focus on the sensation of your breath inside you. Essentially, use your breath to refocus your attention and arousal away from your dick.

Semen retention refers to the practice of having dry orgasms, which are orgasms without ejaculation. When one has orgasms in this way, the body is able to have multiple orgasms and sex can last longer.

There are a wide variety of creams and sprays on the market that contain local anesthetics such as lidocaine. When applied directly (but sparingly!) to your penis, they create a numbing sensation, which can allow you to have longer bouts of intercourse without achieving orgasm. Just remember: This will make your penis have less sensation, meaning sex will also not feel as good, so consider whether this is the experience you're going for. Also, be careful not to let excess amounts rub off on your partner.

A less fussy and easier version of a numbing cream applied directly to your penis are "condoms that have benzocaine or lidocaine (numbing properties) to assist with delaying ejaculation," licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, tells mbg. The outside of the condom has normal lube so your partner's experience of sex isn't altered. These are a perfect and discreet option if you're shy about bringing up issues with premature ejaculation with a newer or one-time partner.

"The pelvic floor is just below the prostate and the rectum. The PC muscle is located there," Adolphe explains. "With age these muscles, like any other muscles, can become weak, but they can be strengthened through pelvic floor exercise. The PC muscle surrounds the prostate, through which your semen passes during ejaculation. If the PC muscles are too weak, it may be harder for you to delay your ejaculation."

Cock rings are silicone circles that fit snugly at the base of your penis and restrict the blood flow. They are a handy, cheap, and simple solution for making your erections last longer.

If you want to make sex last longer, the best thing you can do is take the focus off of penis-in-vagina intercourse. All of the other tips about delaying the moment of ejaculation should be used in conjunction with this mindset. When the focus is taken away from penis-in-vagina penetration, you automatically extend the amount of time you spend in the sack.

For instance, you could practice orgasm denial, a form of power play in which you cede control over when you will come to your partner. A way to do this can be that your partner (consensually) will not "allow" you to receive any form of stimulating touch until you've satisfied them. 

"The impact of depression, anger, low self-esteem, poor body image, and adherence to rigid gender ideals can absolutely impair the quality of an erection," she says. "A sex therapist can help in crafting a plan with you to explore these areas."

"Focus less on performance," Brito says. "Make it about pleasure."

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