What Is Fluid Bonding & When Is It Safe For A Couple To Do It?

"Fluid bonding is where you and your lover(s) decide not to use barriers during your sexual experiences," says sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, M.A., and sex expert for adult wellness brand Lovers.

When sexual partners make this intentional decision, it means they forgo condoms, dental dams, internal condoms, and other kinds of preventive barriers during oral, anal, and vaginal sex and any kind of sexual touching. It can also mean the partners choose to share sex toys together without a barrier.

People choose to fluid bond for several reasons, says Stewart, including attempting to get pregnant or simply preferring the sensation of sex without barriers, with intentionality. 

Couples often fluid bond to feel more connected and intimate, says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and resident sexologist for Adam & Eve.

In practice, fluid bonding isn't different from unprotected sex, says Skyler. What separates the two is the connotation and intentionality around it. Rather than simply not engaging in safer sex practices with your partners or forgetting to use protection here and there, fluid bonding is an explicit choice sexual partners make to share each other's bodily fluids during sex. 

"Usually, unprotected sex is just a sort of casual, barrier-less erotic experience without the communication and intention that we're doing this for a purpose," Skyler says, whether that reason is "to be more connected, [or to] have more sensation, intimacy or commitment."

It's absolutely possible to explore fluid bonding safely, whether you have one partner or many—Skyler says it just comes down to your intentions and plans around STI testing, prevention, and management, as well as preventing unwanted pregnancy if applicable.

"A lot of folks who are monogamous tend to explore fluid bonding as a way to provide trust in one another around faithfulness and consider it to bring them closer to [each other]," Stewart tells mbg. 

Still, it's important not to conflate being fluid-bonded with an immediate and automatic higher level of commitment in your relationship. It's also important to recognize there is still the potential for STI transmission if one partner cheats or has an undiagnosed or undisclosed STI.

Polyamory doesn't intrinsically increase the risks of STIs while fluid bonding. There are many types of ethical nonmonogamy structures, and as long as all sexual partners involved remain transparent and sexually exclusive within the unit, Skyler says it's completely possible to be safely fluid-bonded in polyamorous relationships.

Within polyamory, Stewart says people are usually upfront about who they're fluid-bonded with. Sometimes, partners will "close circuits of fluid bonding before vetting another metamour to join the ranks." 

Without any protection methods, having many kinds of sex carries the risk of getting an STI. By sharing fluids and through skin-to-skin contact, partners can transmit chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, human papillomavirus (HPV), hepatitis B, the herpes simplex virus (HSV), and more. No STI prevention method is 100% effective other than total abstinence, so there are risks with protected sex too—they just significantly increase when you fluid bond.

Having all partners involved get tested regularly can help make sure you're practicing fluid bonding safely. If any partners aren't STI-free, Skyler says it's still possible to fluid bond safely. "There doesn't have to be a stigma around that, and it's not the end of the world—what you want to do is track it."

Before you dive headfirst into fluid bonding, you and your partner(s) should have "all the proper channels in place if something happens in a way [you didn't] intend." 

The decision you make about whether fluid bonding is right for you and your relationship is one you have to make together, and everyone involved has to consent. It might lead to some uncomfortable conversations, which is why it can help to explore the exclusivity of your monogamous or polyamorous relationship before fluid bonding to prevent unwanted outcomes.