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Other People's Emotions Are Contagious: How To Keep Them From Making You Sick
Sharing germs is inevitable when living in close quarters with loved ones. If you catch a cold, they’ll likely catch a cold, and vice-versa. But illnesses aren’t the only thing that’s contagious in a close-knit household.
According to research, feelings can be just as infectious. This phenomenon is called “emotional contagion” and affects anyone in a serious relationship.
What is emotional contagion?
When your partner comes home from work stressed and cranky, does your mood start to shift, too? When they call with good news and you can hear their smile through the phone, does your bad day suddenly look a little brighter? According to NYC-based neuropsychologist and the director of Comprehend the Mind, Sanam Hafeez, PhD, these kinds of shared emotional experiences are prime examples of emotional contagion.
“It's like an emotional ripple effect,” Hafeez tells mindbodygreen. “One person's emotions and related behaviors can spread to those around them, affecting and influencing the emotions of others.” Anyone can experience an emotional contagion, Hafeez says, but those in a serious or close relationship (think spouses, children and parents, siblings, etc.) are more likely to be affected by it.
5 signs of an emotional contagion
Emotions are a complicated and crucial part of the human experience that manifest mentally as well as physically. They influence our perception, decision-making, and overall well-being, which is why it’s so important to be able to distinguish your emotions from the emotions of others. This is called emotional awareness, a skill that, Hafeez says, requires self-awareness and mindfulness.
“Regularly reflecting on our feelings and understanding typical emotional responses aids in recognizing authentic emotions,” Hafeez explains. Setting emotional boundaries in relationships, she says, is also key in preventing the absorption of others' emotions, as that separation will allow you to maintain a clearer distinction between your feelings about a situation versus a loved one’s feelings about the same situation.
But how can you detect an emotional contagion as it's happening so you can check in with yourself? Hafeez shares her five tell-tale signs below.
- Rapid mood shifts: To quote Katy Perry, if you’re “hot then you’re cold,” or “up then you’re down,” you might be experiencing an emotional contagion. According to Hafeez, “sudden and noticeable changes in your mood that seem to align with the emotions expressed by others in your environment” is one of the more obvious signs that you might be taking on everyone else’s feelings.
- Unexplained emotional intensity: One day you’re shrugging off the tuna fish smell in the office kitchen, the next you’re furious over the stench because it’s giving your co-worker a headache. If the intensity of your emotions matches the emotions of people nearby, Hafeez says this is a red flag, especially if you have no clear personal reason to respond in that way.
- Empathy overload: It’s one thing to care about another person’s feelings; it’s another to adopt them as your own in solidarity. If you notice any overwhelming feelings of empathy or a strong emotional connection with others, Hafeez warns “their emotions significantly affect your own emotional well-being.”
- Quick emotional shift: Sometimes, when a person is expressing their intense emotions, it can feel like they’re arguing a case, rather than just venting. If you suddenly experience a swift and noticeable change in your emotions after being exposed to someone expressing strong feelings, they may have (unintentionally) brought you to their side, Hafeez says.
- Feeling drained or energized Emotional contagions can manifest themselves swiftly and intensely. So if you’re experiencing “sudden fatigue or increased energy that coincides with the emotional atmosphere of your surroundings,” take note of that shift.
How emotional contagions affect our health
Like feelings themselves, emotional contagions can be positive or negative and, if we allow them to, can affect our mental and physical health accordingly.
Mentally, emotional contagions make it difficult for us to identify and separate our emotions from the emotions of those around us. On one hand, if these emotions are positive, you might experience an uplift in mood, reduced stress, and a boost in self-esteem. On the other hand, if these emotions are negative, they can result in low morale, feelings of anger and disappointment, and unnecessary stress.
It’s one thing to care about another person’s feelings; it’s another to adopt them as your own in solidarity
Not only are feelings of stress and anxiety contagious but according to a 2023 study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association, physical symptoms that manifest from stress can also be contagious.
In the first-of-its-kind study, researchers evaluated thousands of heterosexual couples across the U.S., England, China, and India to determine if married couples mirrored each other's blood-pressure status. Their results showed that wives whose husbands had high blood pressure in the U.S. and England were 9% more likely to have high blood pressure, 19% more likely in India, and 26% more likely in China. Similar results were found in husbands with wives who had high blood pressure. While we need more research on this connection, it could be a sign of emotional contagions at work on a large scale: Stress is known to contribute to high blood pressure1, after all.
How to differentiate your feelings from someone else’s emotions
While emotional contagions can have some positive effects, developing a sense of emotional awareness is important in situations where the emotions being passed onto you are negative and potentially harmful to your health. According to Hafeez, the key to mastering this differentiation is mindfulness, specifically mindfulness in three areas: your environment, your company, and your content consumption.
- Mind Your Environment. “Be mindful of the environments you expose yourself to, especially during times of heightened emotions,” Hafeez warns. For example, let’s say a lot of gossip takes place in the office kitchen around lunchtime. If this is a triggering environment for you, spend as little time in this area as possible.
- Mind Your Company. “Positive emotional contagion can be beneficial, so seek out environments where optimism and constructive attitudes prevail,” Hafeez says. In other words, if you get off the phone with your sister feeling uplifted and energized, take her calls. If you get off the phone with your aunt feeling stressed and irritated, it’s OK to send her to voicemail from time to time.
- Mind Your Content Consumption. This includes what you watch and read as well as what/who you allow on your social media feed. “Emotions can be highly contagious [online],” warms Hafeez. “If certain content or discussions consistently evoke negative emotions, consider reducing your exposure or curating your online environment.”
The takeaway
The phenomenon of sharing emotions is called emotional contagion. Emotional contagions can be positive, but they can also be negative and lead to both mental and physical responses. To make sure these shared emotions do not result in health issues, strengthening your emotional awareness is key. Here are a few more tips on how to identify and name the primary emotions.
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