6 Ways To Find Your Soul Mate

That long, challenging journey to finding the love of my life feels so worth it. Along the way to finding lasting love, I learned many lessons. Here are six of the things I learned that helped me find Tim:

I created an online profile, just as you would when creating a job description, with the goal of attracting the right people and repelling the wrong ones. I wasn't trying to be all things to all people.

I had one guy tell me, "Oh, I don't like strong, independent women." Rather than water down my profile, I built it up. "I'm a four-time New York Times–bestselling author,” I wrote. “I'm here to build a legacy. I work a lot. I'm passionate about it. I'm looking for someone who lives their life on purpose and is on a mission as well." I'm not going to downplay the traits that make me who I am, and neither should you.

I did a lot of work on myself the last summer before I met my fiancé. I stared my emotional blocks dead in the face and dealt with them. You want to go into the dating game being your very best self. You also want to find someone who's done the work to be their best self, which Tim had done. It's always a process. I've got more to do, but I completed a lot of work. Once you've done that, be completely you.

I got super clear on what I was looking for and subsequently went out on a lot of dates. They had to clear a lot of hurdles before we got there, though. I knew I was looking for a needle in a haystack, but I think you can find out a lot just by getting on the phone with someone. That filters out a lot of people before you spend the time going on a date.

My second date with Tim involved a bunch of my friends. He rolled with them perfectly. They all love him. We were out until 2:30 in the morning having the best time, and he fit in perfectly.

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